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Tweeter: alexwyse Page 1
http://www.twitter.com/alexwyse
6/14 @ 6:04 PM
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alexwyse -
Lysistrata Jones is going to be a movie?! Now's their chance to recast me with Rita Moreno. |
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6/14 @ 2:23 PM
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alexwyse -
...though I live at 51 35 Kensington Avenue, and he lives in solitary confinement in a maximum security penitentiary.... |
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6/13 @ 11:23 PM
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alexwyse -
Tonight marks the second time this week I've done the curtain call with my fly down. |
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6/13 @ 6:32 PM
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alexwyse -
Models are probably the worst people on the planet. |
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6/13 @ 5:18 PM
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alexwyse -
I feel sorry for older people who are still learning new things each day, because I've already finished. |
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6/13 @ 1:12 PM
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6/13 @ 11:08 AM
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alexwyse -
Had a dream @_NotJake_ and I survived an earthquake. Mostly some toppled shelves in the warehouse, yet the golden amulet remained unharmed. |
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6/13 @ 10:48 AM
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6/12 @ 6:10 PM
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alexwyse -
Tonight my sister @stephwgoodman is in the audience of Wicked for our first show in Milwaukee! |
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6/11 @ 8:12 PM
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6/11 @ 11:56 AM
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alexwyse -
I don't know much geography, but now that I'll have some time in the great state of Milwaukee, I plan to learn. |
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6/9 @ 6:54 PM
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alexwyse -
"I'm voting for Matilda." "I'm voting for Cady Heron, because she pushed her." |
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6/9 @ 2:50 PM
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alexwyse -
Is it true Royal Caribbean is getting a Special Tony Honor tonight? |
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6/9 @ 12:33 AM
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alexwyse -
It's Tony morning! Don't be surprised if Carol Channing comes down your chimney. |
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6/8 @ 1:33 PM
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alexwyse -
If you eat dark chocolate you probably sleep on firm mattresses and have my checkered shirt you lying sack of shit. |
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6/8 @ 11:28 AM
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alexwyse -
Sandra Bullock is probably just some policewoman who doesn't know she's being filmed. |
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6/7 @ 7:31 PM
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alexwyse -
People with those discs in their ears are three times as likely to be murderers is a fact I just made up. |
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6/7 @ 5:35 PM
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alexwyse -
Be the girl with gel pens. Everyone likes the girl with gel pens. |
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6/7 @ 1:30 PM
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alexwyse -
Last night was a great first show, and my "Wizard and I" was magnificent. |
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6/6 @ 7:46 PM
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alexwyse -
Thank you all for the support! I'm not allowed to take pictures in costume, so please stay tuned for nudes. |
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6/6 @ 5:37 PM
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alexwyse -
Tonight is my first Boq! (Not a euphemism) |
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6/6 @ 12:21 PM
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alexwyse -
Today is my put-in. Tonight is my put-out. |
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6/6 @ 12:21 AM
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alexwyse -
If I were playing Elphaba and took a picture of myself for the mantle, it'd be an Elphie Selfie on my Shelfie. |
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6/5 @ 10:49 PM
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6/5 @ 1:43 PM
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alexwyse -
If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll trade it for blow and move to the Dominican Republic. |
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6/4 @ 5:10 PM
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alexwyse -
For every 1 tweet, 128 tons of CO2 are released into the atmosphere, so you better have something important to say like BACON BLANKET BINGO! |
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6/4 @ 3:48 PM
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alexwyse -
"Quacks on. Quacks off." - Ralph Macchio duck hunting. @JaredGertner: "Slacks on. Slacks off." -Ralph Macchio shopping for pants. |
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6/4 @ 3:38 PM
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alexwyse -
"Fax on, fax off." - Ralph Macchio working a desk job. |
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6/4 @ 12:57 PM
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alexwyse -
I watched Who Wants to be a Millionaire at the gym because it reminds me of a simpler time when I didn't have to work out. |
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6/2 @ 9:37 PM
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alexwyse -
A woman at the show took out her phone, so I stabbed her in the heart. |
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6/2 @ 1:23 PM
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alexwyse -
Business idea: Cash for Teeth. |
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6/1 @ 7:28 PM
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alexwyse -
I do this cool thing where I burp and yell at the same time and I'm still single...? |
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6/1 @ 4:07 PM
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alexwyse -
I’m the Anne Frank of hiding out in bathroom stalls. |
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6/1 @ 2:47 PM
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alexwyse -
I changed my Instagram name to alexjwyse. Some dickhole out there took alexwyse and doesn't use it. |
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6/1 @ 1:48 PM
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alexwyse -
Salad dressing has given you so much and you have the gall to ask for it on the side. |
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