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Tweeter: MikeRylander Page 1

Mike Rylander


http://www.twitter.com/MikeRylander

7/24 @ 10:00 PM
MikeRylander - If you're curious, here's what that last tweet was all about: http://t.co/gOe88hUKQn
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7/24 @ 9:57 PM
MikeRylander - First they came for Michelle Bachmann. I didn't speak out cuz I'm not a crazy. Then they didn't come for anyone else. So it worked out good.
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7/24 @ 9:43 PM
MikeRylander - It's taken 32 years, but now, when someone asks me if I'm a doctor, I can finally say, "no, but I played one on TV."
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7/23 @ 8:24 PM
MikeRylander - Angelinos, remember that day you spent half your day in your car? What day was that again? Right. Everyday. (sigh) but it's worth it...
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7/23 @ 7:54 PM
MikeRylander - Just booked a role playing a Doctor on TLC's Sex Sent Me To The ER. I don't know what it is, but I know there is some subtext here.
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7/22 @ 1:11 PM
MikeRylander - So... this is a new project I'm working on. @latimes: http://t.co/CgaqhW8kKO I'm pretty excited and stuff.
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7/20 @ 11:30 PM
MikeRylander - If you're keeping score at home, I forgot the word 'you' in my last tweet. (+100 Carelessness, -50 Self-Esteem)
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7/20 @ 9:51 PM
MikeRylander - Gotta love that feeling when get home from a long vacation. You know that feeling- broke and fat.
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7/19 @ 3:26 PM
MikeRylander - FYI: It does not matter how small you cut your pieces of pie if you eventually eat all the pieces of pie.
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7/15 @ 4:39 PM
MikeRylander - If I had a dollar for every child left in a hot car this summer, I'd have exactly WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE dollars.
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7/15 @ 12:59 PM
MikeRylander - Apparently, I'm a cool uncle. Does that inherently make me a terrible father?
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7/14 @ 8:59 PM
MikeRylander - You know your state's drought is bad when you visit another state and it rains and you get sexually aroused.
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7/10 @ 7:00 PM
MikeRylander - Hey everyone, this is Mario. Mario, everyone. http://t.co/4L1pMmqcF3
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7/10 @ 8:44 AM
MikeRylander - Don't you love those mornings when you wake up and instantly remember/feel that right before you went to bed, you ate all the food?
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7/7 @ 9:06 PM
MikeRylander - Can't watch/read any coverage on the hot car death story cause I've seen the innocent face of the lost child and it makes me want to vomit.
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7/7 @ 7:46 PM
MikeRylander - (MY MUSTACHE IS NSFW!) RT @WTFarkOra: MY DINNER WITH ALPO: Pet Store Owner Eats Dog Food For 30 Days. Why? Just Cuz. http://t.co/oALaLvK794
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7/7 @ 2:09 PM
MikeRylander - if Bill Hicks was right about this, what else will he be right about? Educate yourself. Self-created end times near. https://t.co/cpkUDbFiTY
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7/7 @ 9:59 AM
MikeRylander - Mexican Earthquake Death Toll would be a great name for a band on a secondary stage on Warped Tour.
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7/7 @ 1:35 AM
MikeRylander - .@Street_Eater You shouldn't post stuff from comedy shows and pretend that they are not from a comedy show. I regret retweeting you.
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7/7 @ 1:15 AM
MikeRylander - When gun people blame gun laws for Chicago's gun violence, I totally agree cause a century of de jure segregated racism is like, whatever.
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7/6 @ 11:43 PM
MikeRylander - Holy shit, this moment is why I joined the Internet. RT @Street_Eater: The greatest technical glitch of all time... http://t.co/h1am741Z5b
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7/6 @ 7:04 PM
MikeRylander - New video on Federal Reserve blows up reddit today. https://t.co/hvIGtY7Uta If you have 90 mins, learn why we're all sheep, raped daily.
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7/6 @ 7:03 PM
MikeRylander - New video on Federal Reserve is blows up reddit today. https://t.co/hvIGtY7Uta If you have 90 mins, learn why we're all sheep, raped daily.
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7/6 @ 6:45 PM
MikeRylander - Follow-up: It doesn’t matter who tells you the news or who types the news in 140-characters - the news is the news, not the messenger.
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7/6 @ 6:39 PM
MikeRylander - The same people that care about local news anchor selfies are the same people that will not survive the end of the oil age.
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7/6 @ 3:48 PM
MikeRylander - Dear everyone who dances in between sets at the gym, Stop. Stop. STOP. Seriously, stop. Why haven't you stopped? Fine, don't stop. ...stop.
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7/6 @ 1:16 PM
MikeRylander - POLL: Would you guys rather have a tennis player body, a swimmer body, or a Slim Goodbody? http://t.co/WL0J7sD7Hl
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7/6 @ 12:42 AM
MikeRylander - Think your life is mad crazy? I'm jacked cause I'm about to watch Silver Linings Playbook for the first time as I go to sleep on my couch.
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7/4 @ 1:29 PM
MikeRylander - Happy Will Smith Movie Day! (this tweet would've killed like 12 years ago)
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7/4 @ 12:09 PM
MikeRylander - So if Germany starts kicking France's ass, will the American team be asked to jump in and help? #nailedit #wwiihumor #thatwasforyougrandpa
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7/2 @ 9:23 PM
MikeRylander - Well, if you check out @TeamCoCo's feed, something pretty cool just happened.
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7/2 @ 9:36 AM
MikeRylander - If Game of Thrones Was On VHS In The 80's http://t.co/eJQn0KKtsb (If you're older than 30, this will hit home hard.) http://t.co/G2Ef1KsGn2
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7/2 @ 12:46 AM
MikeRylander - I love that commercial where the aspirational, Paul Rudd-like, ambiguously 20/30-something does the funny or cool thing and gets the girl.
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7/1 @ 4:40 PM
MikeRylander - Look at that, @WTFarkOra turned 100 episodes old this week. To celebrate, we present our 15 Most Watched Episodes: http://t.co/3cn1ha2PCz
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6/30 @ 7:34 PM
MikeRylander - Hey, people who think of words, how about less funny names for devastating disasters that could kill hundreds? #derecho
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