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Tweeter: MikeRylander Page 1

Mike Rylander


http://www.twitter.com/MikeRylander

10/20 @ 3:21 AM
MikeRylander - I just turned 33. Alone. In a sauna. In a 24-Hour gym. While some Chinese women spoke Mandarin in the pool. Adulthood? Or So Raven?
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10/19 @ 11:52 PM
MikeRylander - I think other professions should take the "open mic" approach to weed out the unqualified. Like teaching. Medicine. Global geopolitics.
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10/19 @ 10:56 PM
MikeRylander - What if Nate Dogg said "Study hard in school and be nice to your parents" instead of "Smoke weed everyday" and we all just misheard?
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10/19 @ 10:51 PM
MikeRylander - I showed my parents the best parts of LA this weekend. Like the Marriott concierge room, and my apartment, and LAX and some roads.
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10/19 @ 10:47 PM
MikeRylander - I'm like Peyton Manning if touchdowns were open tabs on an Internet browser.
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10/19 @ 12:33 PM
MikeRylander - LinkedIn: Let's do business, then let's party.™ http://t.co/EMbfPo75YA
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10/18 @ 11:39 PM
MikeRylander - <dick pic> http://t.co/gNUvIx0zhO
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10/18 @ 11:27 PM
MikeRylander - Cool story, bro. http://t.co/5tFjxOLOac
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10/18 @ 8:01 PM
MikeRylander - Pool is broken at my parents hotel so they bussed us to a rich person hotel & everyone is bronze & wearing pastel & smells like a Hollister.
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10/17 @ 3:31 PM
MikeRylander - FACT: Whenever I think about the world Ebola, or even just see it in print, I inexplicably sing it to myself to the tune of "Bailamos."
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10/17 @ 3:29 PM
MikeRylander - Don't hate the playa', hate yourself for being such a spiteful meany-face doo-doo head.
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10/15 @ 8:29 PM
MikeRylander - If you're in Los Angeles, I'm going be acting like a fool on @CelebNameGame with @CraigyFerg right now! @KTLA - let's do this!
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10/14 @ 7:29 PM
MikeRylander - Well, now that @nicolerichie has tweeted a comedy video I helped write & produce, I think it's time to hang up the laptop. Bye everyone!
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10/14 @ 9:33 AM
MikeRylander - #LadiesOnTop A fun video I helped write & produce, starring @LamorneMorris, @SallyPressman & @AngeliqueCabral! WATCH: http://t.co/RtIbWYLVgn
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10/13 @ 7:45 PM
MikeRylander - "Ben Affleck and Sean Williams Scott had a baby?" -me, according to this dude on Reddit
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10/13 @ 12:40 PM
MikeRylander - Email reminds me I'm still on avail for big job & asks if I'm OK doing cool things on job, so anxiety level is 11, which is 1 louder than 10
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10/13 @ 12:23 PM
MikeRylander - Tomorrow. #LadiesOnTop. @OraTV. @SallyPressman. @AngeliqueCabral. @LamorneMorris. #comedy #internet #worlddomination http://t.co/H3wcbaTFR7
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10/13 @ 12:21 PM
MikeRylander - FYI: I wrote & produced a fun thing with @LamorneMorris, @AngeliqueCabral & @SallyPressman for @OraTV. Drops mañana. http://t.co/wpz2caDh4K
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10/13 @ 8:35 AM
MikeRylander - Is that @JakeFogelnest? RT @WTFark Boy In Suburban Las Vegas Goes Full Diva On Live TV (WATCH) http://t.co/EKOkzwU4ns http://t.co/NS8SZC6Tgb
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10/12 @ 3:06 AM
MikeRylander - A fun game to play in a big city on any night not in early July is "Gunshot or Gunshot?"
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10/11 @ 9:25 PM
MikeRylander - Currently seeking investors for The E-Bowl-A-Rama, my new online bowling game. Should be a big hit!!!
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10/11 @ 7:05 PM
MikeRylander - Hungover baby elephant & mouse just woke from their blackout in tree with smoking jazz crows. They don't make kids shows like they used to.
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10/11 @ 6:50 PM
MikeRylander - Watching Dumbo with my toddler on Disney Junior - it's the scene where the drunk clowns get the baby elephant and talking mouse drunk.
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10/11 @ 6:41 PM
MikeRylander - RT if all your folders and notebooks and binders in junior high were covered with pictures of ????'s and????'s.
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10/11 @ 6:36 PM
MikeRylander - The @NBA just tweeted that they want us to add them on Snapchat. Yeah, nice try @NBA. Don't think so. http://t.co/8RDYl1nu6a
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10/11 @ 6:26 PM
MikeRylander - Hey angsty tween forming a band, The Leaky Nudes is probably still available to be the name, but not for long.
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10/11 @ 1:43 PM
MikeRylander - Hey liberal commie terrorist hippies, suck on this knowledge bomb: if you scramble the words OBAMA LIE, you get I AM EBOLA.
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10/11 @ 1:38 PM
MikeRylander - Hey liberal commie terrorist hippies, suck on this knowledge bomb: if you re-scramble the words OBAMA LIE, you get I AM EBOLA.
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10/11 @ 1:37 PM
MikeRylander - Hey liberal commie terrorist hippies, suck on this knowledge bomb: If you re-scramble the words OBAMA LIE, you get I AM EBOLA.
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10/11 @ 11:42 AM
MikeRylander - Whenever I'm feeling good about my life accomplishments, I remember Beyonce is only one year old than me & that takes me down several pegs.
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10/10 @ 9:06 PM
MikeRylander - Friday night, bitches. You know what that means - time to roll on out and get our swerve on... #LAThugLife http://t.co/Nnk3xiT0Kk
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10/10 @ 3:57 PM
MikeRylander - WARNING: YOU CANNOT UNSEE WHAT YOU SEE WHEN YOU CLICK THIS LINK - http://t.co/OGYBw0zzuF
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10/7 @ 11:35 PM
MikeRylander - Blood moon, super moon, waxing moon... nonsense. Call me old fashioned, but there's only one way I want my moon, and that's Warren.
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10/7 @ 7:18 AM
MikeRylander - My favorite Bible verse: "Don't focus thyselves on the all-accepting principles of Christ, but instead, on gay marriage, abortions & guns."
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