Broadway on Twitter

Tweeter: MikeRylander Page 1

Mike Rylander


http://www.twitter.com/MikeRylander

4/15 @ 7:44 PM
MikeRylander - Nothing better than the look on my daughter's face when I get home. Nothing worse than the look when I leave. Wait- genocide. That's worse.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/15 @ 3:15 PM
MikeRylander - I'm hungry so I'm going to eat now. http://t.co/gEOTMzN7YT is fun.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/15 @ 3:08 PM
MikeRylander - Does a bad Australian accent come with a theater degree from a state university, or do you have to buy it separately?
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/14 @ 10:51 PM
MikeRylander - That time of the month for the moon, huh? #NAILEDIT #COMEDYGOD #GIVEMETWITTERCOMEDYMONEY
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/14 @ 7:39 PM
MikeRylander - Unless your brand is tweeting photos of your product in a vagina, no one cares anymore. This is the world we live in.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/12 @ 5:21 PM
MikeRylander - Just overheard in Malibu: "Look, when we get to his house, if it's like, really big, one of us is going to have to suck his dick."
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/12 @ 1:57 AM
MikeRylander - For my first Coachella tweet, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. Anyone? Yes, you in the back. http://t.co/ZHBfS193Zd You'll do.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/11 @ 12:38 PM
MikeRylander - My favorite cold open thus far. RT @WTFarkOra I LOVE YOU, MAYONNAISE: Man wants cremated remains stored in mayo jars. http://t.co/DpV9h3M6zj
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/10 @ 11:51 PM
MikeRylander - Comment threads on the Internet are where remaining shreds of human dignity go to shrivel up and die.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/10 @ 12:02 AM
MikeRylander - A real friend of mine who is a real talent agent received this real submission today. God is good. http://t.co/ZcO74bRQSn
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/9 @ 10:40 PM
MikeRylander - My 13mo said blueberry & avocado tonight. She's smart, unlike her dad, who deleted the 1st version of this tweet cuz he misspelled avocado.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/9 @ 9:41 PM
MikeRylander - Tonight, my 13mo old daughter said blueberry and avacado. She's either really smart, or gonna be really fat.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/9 @ 5:13 PM
MikeRylander - Now I'll never book a McDonald's commercial! RT @WTFarkOra McDonald's Customers: Pretty People or Naked Lunatics? http://t.co/SZmisg4yxc
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/9 @ 4:18 PM
MikeRylander - "Taco Bell Breakfast: The Beginning of the End" will be a required human history class for future Earth occupants at alien high school
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/9 @ 4:06 PM
MikeRylander - I know the words to every theme song of every show on Nick Jr. Suck on that, single young people going to clubs & having sex & sleeping in.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/9 @ 12:06 AM
MikeRylander - If you start a sentence by saying, "I don't mean to be racist," you're about to say something racist and yes you do.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/7 @ 11:52 PM
MikeRylander - Splash, My Water Broke #RuinARomCom @midnight
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/7 @ 11:47 PM
MikeRylander - You've Got Male Body Parts Now #RuinARomCom @midnight
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/7 @ 11:46 PM
MikeRylander - When Harry Met Sally, The Woman Who Murdered His Wife #RuinARomCom @midnight
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/7 @ 11:18 PM
MikeRylander - .@20thcenturyfox @SonyPictures @ParamountPics Just trademarked Spray Tan Cop™ for all media use worldwide in perpetuity. Commence bidding.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/7 @ 6:26 PM
MikeRylander - If you enjoy watching me fark things up, then this is for you. You dirty farkers. (via @WTFarkOra) http://t.co/PXqj8KdBGu
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/7 @ 6:25 PM
MikeRylander - If you enjoy watching me fark things up, then this is for you. You dirty farkers. (via WTFark) http://t.co/PXqj8KdBGu
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/6 @ 4:26 PM
MikeRylander - How to win the Internet today: Dress up a bunch of dogs like characters from that one TV show, post a picture, title it GAME OF BONES.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/5 @ 3:57 PM
MikeRylander - +10 life points to anyone who names their Coachella coat check kiosk, Coatchecka. -50 life points for me for thinking this & tweeting it.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/5 @ 3:38 AM
MikeRylander - LADIES, HOW TO TELL IF YOUR MAN IS GAY: Ask him if he's gay - if he freaks out and gets mad, he's gay.
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/5 @ 1:53 AM
MikeRylander - I just ate a normal-sized portion of lasagna & I'm having crippling attacks of depression; eating disorder or resident of Los Angeles?
Retweet | Reply | Link   

4/4 @ 6:01 PM
MikeRylander - Atwitternouncement! Effective immediately, episodes of @WTFarkOra will now be featured on the @HuffingtonPost - http://t.co/tl64jZLo4q
Retweet | Reply | Link   


Next Page >>

 


BroadwayWorld.com claims no intellectual property rights over the material you provide to the Twitter service. All profiles and materials are copyright the user. To have your materials removed from BroadwayWorld.com, Contact Us.