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Tweeter: MikeRylander Page 1
Mike Rylander
http://www.twitter.com/MikeRylander
5/16 @ 10:03 PM
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MikeRylander -
Whenever I'm feeling unfunny, I just have to remember that my baby loved my "Another Diaper Bites The Dust" parody song. |
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5/16 @ 9:14 PM
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5/16 @ 2:48 AM
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MikeRylander -
Discovered a French restaurant with all-you-can-eat mussels in sixteen high-end serving styles so basically I'm in a plural marriage now. |
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5/14 @ 7:13 PM
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MikeRylander -
All you drones with 9-5's don't understand an artist's freedom (to drive to Irvine during rush hour to audition for an insurance commercial) |
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5/13 @ 5:59 PM
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5/12 @ 3:17 PM
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5/12 @ 1:33 PM
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MikeRylander -
Happy first Mother's Day to my beautiful wife, @jetski17! I got you this tweet. Nothing else. [...] (-how'd I do?) |
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5/10 @ 1:04 PM
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MikeRylander -
Hey #scientists - why are white people with disposable income in first world countries the only group afflicted by gluten allergies? |
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5/9 @ 4:14 AM
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MikeRylander -
A FB friend posted she can get presale Josh Groban tix using her Josh Groban fanclub presale password SO DON'T SAY I DON'T HAVE CONTACTS. |
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5/9 @ 1:46 AM
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MikeRylander -
"Pro Tip: Pros don't start and end their tweets with played out tweet structures." -not a pro |
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5/8 @ 11:06 PM
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MikeRylander -
Crazy excited for my friend & fellow @JunkRope'r, @CabralAngelique, whose pilot ENLISTED was just picked up by @FOXTV! #ImprovTeammateBrag |
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5/8 @ 10:42 PM
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MikeRylander -
Parents who publicly threaten to *smack* their crying child should be smacked, hard and repeatedly, by me, right now. Excuse me for a sec- |
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5/8 @ 9:06 PM
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MikeRylander -
I HEREBY CROWN MYSELF "KING OF PISSING OFF PEOPLE FROM MY HOMETOWN ON FACEBOOK". |
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5/8 @ 8:04 PM
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MikeRylander -
Minot, ND (@VisitMinot, population 42K+) offers no home recycling services. Cans, bottles, paper ALL go to the landfill. (The year is 2013) |
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5/8 @ 7:36 PM
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5/8 @ 7:28 PM
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MikeRylander -
How many points is "a fuckload of cookies and cake and ice cream and shit"...? |
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5/8 @ 6:18 PM
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MikeRylander -
FACT: At the CVS in Minot, ND, I saw a children's t-shirt for sale with a picture of an oil well and the words: "ND for Freedom USA". |
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5/8 @ 6:12 PM
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5/8 @ 3:27 PM
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5/5 @ 3:30 AM
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MikeRylander -
Love taking a bath with my little baby girl! (Please don't show this to her in 14 years or ever.) |
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5/3 @ 3:58 PM
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MikeRylander -
If we are to believe the post-tragedy "God's Plan" people, God's a dick and his plan sucks. |
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4/30 @ 3:42 PM
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MikeRylander -
Yup. #nocomment RT @ClipsSection114: WHAT? ur NOT working a playoff game? WTF? ? ? @LAClippers |
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4/30 @ 12:11 PM
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MikeRylander -
I wish 2 Pac and 2 Chainz worked at the same Applebees so everyone else could be like, "Ugh. Why do so many 2's work here?!" |
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4/30 @ 11:43 AM
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MikeRylander -
My umbilical chord stem cell smoothie fast seems to be working! |
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4/29 @ 3:04 PM
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MikeRylander -
Wish I could. RT @clipsgirl @MikeRylander hope you're working on Tues cuz we need you & @DJDENSEto get the crowed pumped up & loud!! :) |
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4/29 @ 3:00 PM
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MikeRylander -
Would love to, wasn't scheduled. RT @Andrew_GD: @MikeRylander Yo get the crowd tuesday Amped with some chants! i.e Randolph's fat, etc... |
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4/29 @ 2:55 PM
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MikeRylander -
Ah shucks. RT @1040girl: @LAClippers we need @MikeRylander at Game 5!! #ClipperNation #wewantmike |
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4/28 @ 3:31 PM
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4/27 @ 7:47 PM
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MikeRylander -
My wife and I threw a party last night. There were 3 babies. That's how we roll. #thuglife |
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4/25 @ 4:29 PM
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MikeRylander -
I'm at one of those parks where married people probably come during lunch breaks to have affairs. Also, please don't tell my wife I'm here. |
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4/25 @ 4:18 PM
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MikeRylander -
FACT: When losing Steve Blake to an injury becomes a big deal, you know your basketball team had already gone to shit. |
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4/25 @ 12:52 PM
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MikeRylander -
A George W Bush Library? What's next, a William Henry Harrison Center for Longevity? (*parades around the room raising the roof*) #NAILEDIT |
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4/25 @ 12:49 PM
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MikeRylander -
A George W Bush Library? What's next, a William Henry Harrsion Center for Longevity? (*parades around thr room raising the roof*) #NAILEDIT |
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4/25 @ 12:32 PM
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