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Tweeter: MikeRylander Page 1

Mike Rylander


http://www.twitter.com/MikeRylander

MikeRylander Twitter 7/23 @ 5:40 AM
MikeRylander - ...I guess I had fun reading this? ???? https://t.co/AyKyPq6c2X
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/22 @ 1:17 AM
MikeRylander - Under normal circumstances, I would never, ever, EVER sexually harass ANYONE... -but if @FoxNews is paying $10 million to do so. Hmm... ????
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/22 @ 1:13 AM
MikeRylander - FACT CHECKING: People who care about these sorts of things aren't voting Trump & those voting Trump don't care about these sorts of things.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/22 @ 12:51 AM
MikeRylander - I can always tell how many auditions I've had in a week by the length of my facial hair on Friday. It's very long.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 11:54 PM
MikeRylander - (*silence, as the brutal realization that this is all real and is really happening sets in*)
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 11:34 PM
MikeRylander - "I will be your champion" is what a sad, lonely man tells his penis right before he masturbates.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 11:26 PM
MikeRylander - Okay, here's the bad news- absolutely every single person who is voting Donald Trump doesn't give a flying fuck about the facts or racism.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 11:16 PM
MikeRylander - RULE #1: You never join the bloodthirsty mob in the USA chant. You just ingest their rage to fuel your hate fire.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 11:06 PM
MikeRylander - "Build a wall" => drink.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 11:03 PM
MikeRylander - This "speech" sounds like your uncle talking to your brother on Thanksgiving after 4 hot toddies.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 10:59 PM
MikeRylander - "We are going to win fast" is something someone who doesn't understand how time works says. You can't move an election date.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 10:54 PM
MikeRylander - "I alone can fix it" is something you tell yourself after 2 hours of futilely building an IKEA bookshelf.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 10:53 PM
MikeRylander - "I alone can fix it" is something you tell yourself after 2 hours of futilely bulding an IKEA bookshelf.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 10:51 PM
MikeRylander - "I am your voice" is the kind of thing a kidnapper whispers to the children he keeps in cages.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 10:46 PM
MikeRylander - "I am your voice" is the kind of thing a serial killer writes on the walls of his murder scenes in blood.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 10:42 PM
MikeRylander - Americanism: a word that was invented at the exact moment historians will mark as the beginning of the end.
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 5:34 PM
MikeRylander - GIF of the day, folks. https://t.co/UwTEOUWjWQ
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 1:40 PM
MikeRylander - For a man who hates gay people, young Mike Pence has a lot of explaining to do... #DenimJumpSuit https://t.co/6OxmDJfDqU
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 1:35 PM
MikeRylander - It's not middle America's irrational love for Donald Trump that scares me, it's the unjustified hate for Hillary Clinton...
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 1:10 PM
MikeRylander - CHALLENGE: stare at this photo for 3-minutes while you listen to The Imperial March - https://t.co/ckp3FPY9XR https://t.co/rL1Gc0ykAT
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 9:28 AM
MikeRylander - .@realDonaldTrump is what america needs, someone who just follows they're gut and emotions instead of waisting there time with the facts!!!!
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/21 @ 4:11 AM
MikeRylander - This November, I will vote my conscience. https://t.co/Oa71ODGO45
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/20 @ 9:36 PM
MikeRylander - The @ColbertLateShow Facebook Live Streams at the RNC have been so bae guys... https://t.co/OwlHXTIxN4 #ColbertRNC
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/20 @ 9:35 PM
MikeRylander - The @colbertlateshow Facebook Live Streams have been so bae guys... https://t.co/OwlHXTIxN4
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/20 @ 8:56 PM
MikeRylander - The United States of America, 1776-2016. https://t.co/59vN5tIK83
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 10:20 PM
MikeRylander - "Hello, I'm an orange, entitled 3rd generation heir of an NYC real estate fortune. I will now lecture you about aristocrats and wealth."
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 10:13 PM
MikeRylander - "Rich people born rich need to be stopped." -Donald Trump Jr, who just has no fucking clue
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 10:07 PM
MikeRylander - "My name is (name), the delegate from (state), and (state) casts all its votes for Mr. Trump. Also, my kids won't look at me in the eyes."
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 7:09 PM
MikeRylander - The RNC is whiter than... • An Eddie Bauer catalog • Wonder Bread • The band Bread • Bolo ties • Alan Thicke • Great cocaine • The name Ned
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 5:15 PM
MikeRylander - Okay internet, cool it with those real looking quote memes. (Plz use this as an excuse to tweet more of them at me. The sillier the better)
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 4:59 PM
MikeRylander - The people who need to read this won't. https://t.co/mWs7urcu9U
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 4:29 PM
MikeRylander - TRUMPLE DOWN - (v) - to deny an exposed falsehood w/ another falsehood w/ the oblivious hubris of a toddler refusing to pee pee on the potty
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 5:31 AM
MikeRylander - Holy crap - this is an actual "title" of a speaker at the RNC. Way to secure that Latino/Arab/etc vote, GOP! https://t.co/J8DrM0Tnah
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 4:09 AM
MikeRylander - all dem old white republicans clappin to da words of Mrs. Obama doe ????????????
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MikeRylander Twitter 7/19 @ 3:54 AM
MikeRylander - ICYMI: this tweet is real and is the funniest thing in the world right now. https://t.co/PS22T1bPyZ
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