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Tweeter: MikeRylander Page 1

Mike Rylander


http://www.twitter.com/MikeRylander

4/22 @ 12:37 AM
MikeRylander - RT @LAdesignGuy @LAClippers should've brought back @MikeRylander (aka #FakeWally) for playoffs. No offense, but this guy ain't cuttin' it.
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4/21 @ 12:47 PM
MikeRylander - The difference between constructive criticism and trolling is an anonymous username.
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4/20 @ 11:33 AM
MikeRylander - "The blood of the Easter Bunny shed for you." "Holy shit dude, you're a monster." "Drink his blood with me & live forever! DO IT!"
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4/20 @ 11:31 AM
MikeRylander - "He is not here! He's in prison!" "Excuse me?!" "Risen. He has risen. Sorry, my English isn't good. We mostly speak Portuguese in heaven."
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4/20 @ 12:52 AM
MikeRylander - Hope the Hitler Bunny hides enough weed eggs for ghost Jesus tomorrow!
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4/20 @ 12:42 AM
MikeRylander - Were #sports happening today? #sports
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4/19 @ 9:30 PM
MikeRylander - If I were into BDSM, the title of my everything would be Gimpin' Ain't Easy.
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4/18 @ 5:43 PM
MikeRylander - My new job: Scour the Internet for silly news, featuring silly people, told by a silly media system. 1000's of years of human evolution FTW!
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4/17 @ 9:29 PM
MikeRylander - Oh, the things I wish I could regret now to have had a role in Usual Suspects.
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4/15 @ 7:44 PM
MikeRylander - Nothing better than the look on my daughter's face when I get home. Nothing worse than the look when I leave. Wait- genocide. That's worse.
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4/15 @ 3:15 PM
MikeRylander - I'm hungry so I'm going to eat now. http://t.co/gEOTMzN7YT is fun.
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4/15 @ 3:08 PM
MikeRylander - Does a bad Australian accent come with a theater degree from a state university, or do you have to buy it separately?
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4/14 @ 10:51 PM
MikeRylander - That time of the month for the moon, huh? #NAILEDIT #COMEDYGOD #GIVEMETWITTERCOMEDYMONEY
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4/14 @ 7:39 PM
MikeRylander - Unless your brand is tweeting photos of your product in a vagina, no one cares anymore. This is the world we live in.
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4/12 @ 5:21 PM
MikeRylander - Just overheard in Malibu: "Look, when we get to his house, if it's like, really big, one of us is going to have to suck his dick."
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4/12 @ 1:57 AM
MikeRylander - For my first Coachella tweet, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. Anyone? Yes, you in the back. http://t.co/ZHBfS193Zd You'll do.
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4/11 @ 12:38 PM
MikeRylander - My favorite cold open thus far. RT @WTFarkOra I LOVE YOU, MAYONNAISE: Man wants cremated remains stored in mayo jars. http://t.co/DpV9h3M6zj
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4/10 @ 11:51 PM
MikeRylander - Comment threads on the Internet are where remaining shreds of human dignity go to shrivel up and die.
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4/10 @ 12:02 AM
MikeRylander - A real friend of mine who is a real talent agent received this real submission today. God is good. http://t.co/ZcO74bRQSn
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4/9 @ 10:40 PM
MikeRylander - My 13mo said blueberry & avocado tonight. She's smart, unlike her dad, who deleted the 1st version of this tweet cuz he misspelled avocado.
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